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I Don't Remember Being Born But It Happened T-Shirt
£19.99
We print everything to order—because we hate waste and dusty stock. Due to this highly customised effort, delivery takes 4–8 days (yes, you have to wait). If you’re lucky, it’s 2–5. We’ll send a dispatch email when your stuff is finally on its way.
With the profound observation "I DON'T REMEMBER BEING BORN. BUT IT" in crisp white, the shirt drops the undeniable truth bomb: "HAPPENED!" in our signature lime green. It's weird. It's true. And now, it's on a shirt. Below it all, Sir Cucumber Dog offers his silent, stoic agreement, probably contemplating his own mysterious arrival into the world.
Perfect for philosophers, stoners, deep-thinkers, and anyone who enjoys making others slightly uncomfortable with bizarre truths. Wear it and watch people's brains short-circuit as they try to process the glorious absurdity.
Why This Shirt is an Undeniable Fact of Your Wardrobe:
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Hilariously Profound: A statement so true and so weird, it's impossible to ignore.
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Free UK Shipping: We'll post this existential crisis directly to your door, at no extra cost.
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Signature Style: Features the iconic Sir Cucumber Dog silhouette and a blast of 'it-really-happened' lime green.
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Unforgettable Comfort: Made from soft cotton, perfect for pondering the mysteries of the universe from the comfort of your sofa.
The Technical Mumbo-Jumbo (Specs):
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Fabric Composition:
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Solid colours are 100% cotton, which you also don't remember being grown.
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Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
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Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
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Heather colours are a 50/50 cotton/polyester blend of mystery.
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Fabric Weight: A solid 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²). It definitely exists.
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Construction: Made with open-end yarn and tubular fabric, with a taped neck and shoulders. Plus double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem. It’s built to last, unlike your memory of birth.
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Sourced From: Our blank tees come from various corners of the world (Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico).
A Note On Your Order (It's not an immaculate conception): We don't just have a pile of these lying around. Each tee is printed fresh just for you the moment you click 'buy'. This on-demand wizardry means it takes a little longer to arrive, but it also cuts down on waste. So, while you're contemplating your own existence, you're also being a thoughtful consumer. Well done.
Heads-Up (Disclaimers - because some things are certain):
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The White tee is more of an 'off-white'. Don't expect blinding, freshly-born white.
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The Natural colour has dark speckles in it. It's a feature, not a flaw. It just happened.
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | SLEEVE LENGTH (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 18 | 15 ⅝ |
| M | 29 | 20 | 17 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 18 ½ |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 20 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 21 ½ |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 22 ¾ |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | SLEEVE LENGTH (cm) | |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 39.7 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 43.2 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 47 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 50.8 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 54.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 58 |
Every brilliant mug, tee, or coaster you order is made especially for you using print-on-demand. This custom process is personally overseen by our mascot, Sir Cucumber Dog, who ensures his cucumber monocle is positioned just right for the official 'Pug of Approval' stamp. Because we don't hold stock and craft everything bespoke, your order takes a little longer to arrive than rushed, mass-produced items. But this extra time guarantees a high-quality, perfectly rude, and funny product made just for you!
