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I'm Currently Out Of Order T-Shirt
£19.99
We print everything to order—because we hate waste and dusty stock. Due to this highly customised effort, delivery takes 4–8 days (yes, you have to wait). If you’re lucky, it’s 2–5. We’ll send a dispatch email when your stuff is finally on its way.
Some days, you just hit a wall. Your brain's buffering, your patience has evaporated, and you're pretty sure your 'humaning' licence has expired. For those glorious moments of utter malfunction, we present the "I Am Currently Out Of Order" T-shirt. It's not an excuse; it's a public service announcement.
With "I AM CURRENTLY" in stark white, and "OUT OF ORDER" blazing in our signature lime green, this tee leaves no room for misinterpretation. Need a moment? Feeling drained? Just point to the shirt. And who's silently judging your systemic breakdown from below? Sir Cucumber Dog, probably thinking you need a good nap and a biscuit.
Perfect for Mondays, hangovers, forced social interactions, or any day you'd rather be a potted plant. This shirt is your official 'Do Not Disturb' sign, for people who can't take a hint.
Why You Need This Tee (Before you actually break down):
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Universal Relatability: Finally, a shirt that speaks for your soul.
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Free UK Shipping: We deliver your personal warning label right to your door, no extra charge. We understand some days leaving the house is too much.
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Signature Style: Features the iconic Sir Cucumber Dog silhouette and your favourite shade of 'leave-me-alone' lime green.
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Superior Comfort: Made from soft, breathable cotton that's perfect for curling up on the sofa and doing absolutely nothing.
The Nitty-Gritty (Specs):
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Fabric Composition:
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Solid colours are 100% cotton.
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Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
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Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
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Heather colours are a 50/50 cotton/polyester blend.
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Fabric Weight: A solid 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²). Not too flimsy for your delicate condition.
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Construction: Made with open-end yarn and tubular fabric, with a taped neck and shoulders. Plus double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem. Basically, it's well-made, unlike your current mental state.
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Sourced From: Our blank tees come from various corners of the world (Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico).
A Note On Your Order (Because we don't rush genius): We don't just have a pile of these lying around. Each tee is printed fresh just for you the moment you click 'buy'. This on-demand wizardry means it takes a little longer to arrive, but it also cuts down on waste. So, give yourself a pat on the back for being a thoughtful consumer, even when you're 'out of order'.
Heads-Up (Disclaimers):
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The White tee is more of an 'off-white'. Don't expect blinding, pristine white. It’s got character, just like your current mood.
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The Natural colour has dark speckles in it. It's a feature, not a flaw.
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | SLEEVE LENGTH (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 18 | 15 ⅝ |
| M | 29 | 20 | 17 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 18 ½ |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 20 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 21 ½ |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 22 ¾ |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | SLEEVE LENGTH (cm) | |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 39.7 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 43.2 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 47 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 50.8 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 54.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 58 |
Every brilliant mug, tee, or coaster you order is made especially for you using print-on-demand. This custom process is personally overseen by our mascot, Sir Cucumber Dog, who ensures his cucumber monocle is positioned just right for the official 'Pug of Approval' stamp. Because we don't hold stock and craft everything bespoke, your order takes a little longer to arrive than rushed, mass-produced items. But this extra time guarantees a high-quality, perfectly rude, and funny product made just for you!
