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Sir Cucumber Dog "Lick The Spoon" Funny Novelty Coaster
£12.00
Sale price
£12.00
Regular price
Sir Cucumber Dog's Offensiveness Rating
A hygiene nightmare masquerading as a joke."
- CJO (Chief Judgement Officer)
🚚 Estimated delivery:
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.
The Perfect Confession for Your Coffee Break
Bring a slice of mischievous humour to your morning brew. The "Sometimes I Lick The Spoon" coaster features bold, colourful typography and playful doodles, perfectly contrasted against our signature cucumber cream background. It is the ideal cheeky addition to any kitchen counter or office desk, guaranteed to make your guests look twice at the communal sugar bowl.
As part of the official Sir Cucumber Dog homeware collection, we ensure our novelty designs are backed by rigorous physical quality. Manufactured via Printful, this drinks mat boasts a robust, heat-resistant top layer capable of handling boiling hot mugs without blistering or fading. The thick cork backing provides a non-slip grip while keeping your wooden and glass surfaces completely scratch-free.
Whether you are buying a secret Santa gift for the office menace or treating yourself to some playful home decor, this coaster delivers lasting durability and a brilliant punchline.
Product Specifications:
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Top Material: High-gloss, moisture and heat-resistant coating
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Base Material: Non-slip, scratch-resistant cork backing
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Dimensions: Standard size for UK mugs, teacups, and pint glasses
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Design: Vibrant, multi-coloured typography on a cucumber cream base
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Care Instructions: Wipe clean only with a damp cloth
Shipping & Returns
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for delivery.
- Cost: £0.00. Every order ships FREE within the UK & USA.
- Timing: Your item is crafted specifically for you. Please allow 3-5 business days for production before it departs our green-lit HQ.
- Returns: If it arrives damaged or the pug messed up the print, we’ll sort it. No stress, no fuss.
Frequently asked questions
How do I choose the correct size?
Do not guess your size. Our funny slogan t-shirts and premium apparel use standard UK unisex sizing. Please consult the dedicated size guide located on this specific product page before adding the item to your basket. Taking a moment to measure a shirt you already own is the best way to ensure a proper fit and avoid looking like a burst sausage.
How long does delivery take?
We are unable to accept returns on certain items. These will be carefully marked before purchase.
When will I get my order?
Your new apparel or rude accessory is printed specifically for you. This sustainable print on demand process means production takes roughly 2 to 5 business days. Once your item is freshly printed, we will dispatch your order and provide a tracking link. Standard shipping within the UK and the US is completely free.
What is your return policy?
As every single item is a bespoke masterpiece printed to order, we do not accept returns or exchanges for a sudden change of heart or incorrect sizing. However, if your item arrives misprinted, faulty, or damaged by the courier, please contact our support team immediately with a clear photograph so we can resolve the issue.
How do I wash and care for this item?
Treat your new goods with the respect they deserve. Wash our organic cotton t-shirts inside out on a cool wash (30 degrees Celsius) and allow them to air dry to maintain their shape. Standard ceramic mugs are entirely dishwasher safe, but our heat colour changing mugs are delicate divas that must be washed by hand.
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?
A gentleman does not typically reveal his secrets, but for you, I will make an exception. I am Sir Cucumber Dog: a plush pug of unparalleled sophistication, permanently squeezed into a bespoke green cucumber print suit. The cucumber monocle is purely for judging your life choices, and the yellow bow tie is because I am not a savage.
As the Chairman of this establishment, I oversee a curated collection of rude and funny designs across mugs, tees, and coasters, all presented in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. I am the physical embodiment of a lifestyle that prioritises sharp tailoring, strong gin, and an overwhelming disdain for the general public.