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What To Eat Or What Not To Eat T-shirt
£19.99
We print everything to order—because we hate waste and dusty stock. Due to this highly customised effort, delivery takes 4–8 days (yes, you have to wait). If you’re lucky, it’s 2–5. We’ll send a dispatch email when your stuff is finally on its way.
Forget life and death. The real existential crisis of our time happens multiple times a day, usually while staring blankly into the fridge. Is it to be the virtuous salad, sitting there smugly, or the leftover takeaway, whispering sweet, greasy nothings? This T-shirt is for every soul who has wrestled with this profound, daily dilemma.
This tee elegantly paraphrases Shakespeare for the perpetually hungry, asking the ultimate question: "WHAT TO EAT OR WHAT NOT TO EAT". The punchline, "THAT IS THE QUESTION", is delivered in our signature lime green, because this is a matter of grave importance. Below, Sir Cucumber Dog waits patiently for your decision, silently judging your dithering while probably hoping you choose the option that involves dropped crumbs.
Perfect for the indecisive foodie, the professional dieter (on a cheat day), and anyone who understands that the struggle is, in fact, very real.
Why This Shirt Understands Your Struggle:
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The Modern Soliloquy: A hilarious, relatable take on the eternal battle between want and should.
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Free UK Shipping: We'll deliver this philosophical garment right to your door, leaving you more time to ponder your next meal.
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Sir Cucumber Dog Approved: Our pug companion gets it. The biscuit tin vs. the kibble bowl is his life's great work.
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Comfort for Contemplation: Made from soft, sturdy cotton, ideal for deep thought, light snacking, and eventual capitulation to the takeaway menu.
The Fiddly Bits (Specs):
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Fabric Composition:
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Solid colours are 100% cotton.
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Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
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Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
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Heather colours are a 50/50 cotton/polyester blend of indecision.
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Fabric Weight: A solid 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²). It can handle a few stray curry drips.
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Construction: Made with open-end yarn and tubular fabric, with a taped neck and shoulders. Plus double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem. It’s built to last longer than your willpower.
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Sourced From: Our blank tees come from various corners of the world (Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico).
A Note On Your Order (It's made fresh, just like you wish your salad was): We don't keep piles of these tees sitting around. Each one is printed fresh just for you the moment you click 'buy'. This on-demand wizardry means it takes a little longer to arrive, but it's brilliant for cutting down on waste. So, you've already made one good, thoughtful decision today. Now, about that doughnut...
Heads-Up (Disclaimers):
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The White tee is more of an 'off-white'. Don't expect pristine, blindingly-white white.
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The Natural colour has dark speckles in it. It's a feature, not a flaw.
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | SLEEVE LENGTH (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 18 | 15 ⅝ |
| M | 29 | 20 | 17 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 18 ½ |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 20 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 21 ½ |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 22 ¾ |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | SLEEVE LENGTH (cm) | |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 39.7 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 43.2 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 47 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 50.8 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 54.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 58 |
Every brilliant mug, tee, or coaster you order is made especially for you using print-on-demand. This custom process is personally overseen by our mascot, Sir Cucumber Dog, who ensures his cucumber monocle is positioned just right for the official 'Pug of Approval' stamp. Because we don't hold stock and craft everything bespoke, your order takes a little longer to arrive than rushed, mass-produced items. But this extra time guarantees a high-quality, perfectly rude, and funny product made just for you!
