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HOWAY THE LADS! Newcastle Fan Door Mat -
I Always Crap Myself | The Honest Baby Grow -
I Did Debbie in Dallas Mug | Funny Retro Sarcastic Gift -
I Did Debbie In Dallas | Offensive Stag Do T-Shirt & Rude Gag Gift -
I Don't Fart Darling White Mug -
I Fart In Lifts T-shirt The Public Nuisance Collection -
I Lack The Crayons To Explain This | Sarcastic Desk Mug -
I LOVE IT WHEN THE JUICES GO ALL OVER ME! Chopping Board -
I Love Your Mum Coaster -
I Only Poo In Castles Coaster -
I PREFER THE BACK DOOR RUDE AND FUNNY INDOOR DOOR MAT -
I Still Live At Home | Sassy Baby Grow -
I Still Owe Jesus A Fiver White Mug -
I STILL OWE JESUS A FIVER! Funny Old Age Door Mat -
I STILL OWE JESUS A FIVER! Mug -
I Stink! | The Brutally Honest Baby Grow -
I Think I was Adopted White Mug -
I Would Agree But Then We Would Both Be Wrong | Sarcastic Mug -
I'd Agree With You Funny Coworker Mug -
I'm A Melt | Organic Kids Tee -
I'm A Melt | Sarcastic Organic Kids Tee -
I'M A STUDENT. IT'S ALLOWED TO BE MESSY." Indoor Door Mat -
If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards Funny Mug | 11oz & 15oz -
Immense Joy The Second You Leave | Rude Colleague Mug
Frequently asked questions
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?
Sir Cucumber Dog is our distinguished Chairman—a plush pug with discerning taste, a bespoke cucumber-print suit, and a monocle made from the finest cucumber slice. He oversees all operations, ensuring every design we release meets our high standards for rude, funny, and unapologetic British wit. He is a busy pug; do not expect a personal reply.
What is the Cucumber Dog brand style?
We don’t do boring. We specialize in "hostile workplace" humour, cheeky slogans, and sarcastic visuals. Our aesthetic is rooted in vintage typography, high-end illustration, and our signature Cucumber Green (#2d4c31) and Cucumber Cream (#FAF5DC) palette. If it doesn't make you giggle or make your HR department sweat, we aren't printing it.
Where do you ship to?
We ship globally from our decentralized production network. Every order is fulfilled in the country of purchase (UK or USA) to ensure the fastest possible transit times and to minimize our carbon footprint.
Are these designs available anywhere else?
No. Every design is proprietary to the Cucumber Dog brand. You will not find Sir Cucumber Dog elsewhere. If you see our designs on another store, they are cheap knockoffs, and the Chairman is likely already preparing legal action.
I have a stupid question?
There are no stupid questions here, only people who haven’t had enough caffeine yet. If you are confused, it is likely because we were too busy being funny to be clear. Send your question over to our support team—they are much more patient than Sir Cucumber Dog and will be happy to clear things up for you without judging your lack of focus.
Contact Our Support Minions at woof@cucumberdog.com