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Area 51 Reject T-Shirt | The Conspiracy Collection
£19.99
We print everything to order—because we hate waste and dusty stock. Due to this highly customised effort, delivery takes 4–8 days (yes, you have to wait). If you’re lucky, it’s 2–5. We’ll send a dispatch email when your stuff is finally on its way.
You've always felt a bit... different. Like you didn't quite belong. Turns out, there's a good reason for that. You weren't just abducted; you were thoroughly examined, deemed surplus to requirements, and promptly sent back.
This T-shirt is your official discharge paper from the universe's premier weirdo containment facility. They took one look, scanned your brain, noted your questionable search history and penchant for pineapple on pizza, and politely dropped you back in a field in Berkshire. The official reason? "TOO WEIRD." It's not an insult; it's a badge of honour.
Perfect for the glorious oddballs, the conspiracy connoisseurs, the pub cryptid-hunters, and anyone who has ever been told they're 'a bit much'.
Why This Shirt Proves You're Special:
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The Ultimate Backhanded Compliment: You're too weird even for the aliens. Congratulations.
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Conspiracy Chic: A stylish nod to classic UFO lore with a brilliant, self-deprecating punchline.
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Royal Mail, On The House: Dispatched with Free UK Shipping, because returning an abductee shouldn't cost extra.
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Comfort for the Cosmic Oddity: Made from soft, sturdy cotton, ideal for contemplating the cosmos or just being odd on the sofa.
The Fiddly Bits (Specs):
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Fabric Composition:
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Solid colours are 100% cotton.
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Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
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Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
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Heather colours are a 50/50 cotton/polyester blend of pure, unidentifiable weirdness.
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Fabric Weight: A solid 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²).
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Construction: Made with open-end yarn and tubular fabric, with a taped neck and shoulders. Plus double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem. It’s built to survive being beamed up and spat back out.
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Sourced From: Our blank tees are sourced from various corners of the world (Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico).
A Note On Your Order (Freshly Declassified): This shirt isn't just sitting in a hangar. Each one is printed fresh just for you the moment you place your order. This on-demand wizardry means it takes a little longer to arrive, but it's brilliant for cutting down on waste. You’re making a thoughtful choice, you magnificent weirdo.
Heads-Up (Disclaimers):
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The White tee is more of an 'off-white'.
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The Natural colour has dark speckles in it. It's a feature, not a flaw.
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | SLEEVE LENGTH (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 18 | 15 ⅝ |
| M | 29 | 20 | 17 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 18 ½ |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 20 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 21 ½ |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 22 ¾ |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | SLEEVE LENGTH (cm) | |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 39.7 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 43.2 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 47 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 50.8 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 54.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 58 |
Every brilliant mug, tee, or coaster you order is made especially for you using print-on-demand. This custom process is personally overseen by our mascot, Sir Cucumber Dog, who ensures his cucumber monocle is positioned just right for the official 'Pug of Approval' stamp. Because we don't hold stock and craft everything bespoke, your order takes a little longer to arrive than rushed, mass-produced items. But this extra time guarantees a high-quality, perfectly rude, and funny product made just for you!
