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I Peaked In Nursery T-shirt
£19.99
We print everything to order—because we hate waste and dusty stock. Due to this highly customised effort, delivery takes 4–8 days (yes, you have to wait). If you’re lucky, it’s 2–5. We’ll send a dispatch email when your stuff is finally on its way.
Remember the glory days? When your biggest achievement was a gold star for tidy colouring and your most stressful decision was which flavour of squash to have. You were the undisputed king of the sandpit, a titan of the tricycle track. And let's be honest, it's all been a bit of a letdown since then.
This T-shirt is an honest admission of that beautiful, tragic truth. It's a tribute to the glory days of mandatory nap times and unlimited custard. The slightly wobbly, childlike font and the simple rainbow are a memorial to your former greatness. It says, "Yes, my best work is behind me, and I'm surprisingly okay with that."
Perfect for graduates entering the real world, millennials drowning in life admin, and anyone who's ever looked at their council tax bill and thought, "I want to go back to the Play-Doh table."
Why This Shirt is Your New Truth:
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Painfully Relatable: The official uniform for everyone who feels like they're just winging it through adulthood.
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Nostalgic Vibes: A throwback to a simpler, stickier, and frankly, better time.
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Royal Mail, On The House: Dispatched with Free UK Shipping, because adulting is expensive enough.
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Comfort for the Washed-Up: Made from soft, sturdy cotton, ideal for contemplating your life choices while re-watching Teletubbies.
The Fiddly Bits (Specs):
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Fabric Composition:
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Solid colours are 100% cotton.
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Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
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Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
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Heather colours are a 50/50 cotton/polyester blend of quiet resignation.
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Fabric Weight: A solid 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²).
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Construction: Made with open-end yarn and tubular fabric, with a taped neck and shoulders. Plus double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem. It’s built to last longer than your motivation.
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Sourced From: Our blank tees are sourced from various corners of the world (Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico).
A Note On Your Order (Freshly Printed Reality): This shirt isn't just sitting around in a lost property box. Each one is printed fresh just for you the moment you place your order. This on-demand wizardry means it takes a little longer to arrive, but it's brilliant for cutting down on waste. You’re making a thoughtful choice, you magnificent has-been.
Heads-Up (Disclaimers):
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The White tee is more of an 'off-white'.
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The Natural colour has dark speckles in it. It's a feature, not a flaw.
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | SLEEVE LENGTH (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 18 | 15 ⅝ |
| M | 29 | 20 | 17 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 18 ½ |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 20 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 21 ½ |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 22 ¾ |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | SLEEVE LENGTH (cm) | |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 39.7 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 43.2 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 47 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 50.8 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 54.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 58 |
Every brilliant mug, tee, or coaster you order is made especially for you using print-on-demand. This custom process is personally overseen by our mascot, Sir Cucumber Dog, who ensures his cucumber monocle is positioned just right for the official 'Pug of Approval' stamp. Because we don't hold stock and craft everything bespoke, your order takes a little longer to arrive than rushed, mass-produced items. But this extra time guarantees a high-quality, perfectly rude, and funny product made just for you!
