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Sir Cucumber Dog "Looking Fit As Always" Rude Bath Mat
£25.00
Sale price
£25.00
Regular price
🚚 Estimated delivery:
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.
Step out of the shower and right onto a glorious affirmation of your fitness, whether you have been to the gym or just navigated the minefield of a tricky day. This funny slogan mat from the Sir Cucumber Dog collection is designed for those who appreciate their own magnificence and have the rude humour to back it up. A perfect addition to our line of cheeky home goods, this Cucumber Dog mat turns your bathroom floor into a personal fan club.
Features That Keep You Looking Good
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Soft Microfibre Top: Highly absorbent and wonderfully soft, offering a comfy place to step after a shower. It is the perfect, plush spot to admire your reflection (or just your feet).
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Cushioned Memory Foam Inner: A proper plush interior that cushions your feet. It is soft enough to forgive the rudeness and self aggrandisement of the message. Instant comfort, zero modesty.
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Non Slip Base: Essential for bathroom safety! This base ensures the mat stays firmly planted on slippery tiles. You may be bragging, but at least you won't be falling.
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Ideal Size: A good, noticeable size for your bathroom or toilet area at 60 x 40 cm. Large enough to deliver its message with maximum impact.
Art, Attitude, and Aftercare
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Vibrant Edge to Edge Print: The artwork is printed across the entire mat, ensuring the bold, crisp text stands out brilliantly against the sophisticated grey background.
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Keeping It Clean: When this superstar inevitably gets dirty, simply wash at 30 degrees. Air drying is always best for a demanding diva like this!
Product Specifications
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Brand: Sir Cucumber Dog
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Material: Microfibre with Memory Foam core
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Dimensions: 60 x 40 cm
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Safety: Non slip backing
Shipping & Returns
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for delivery.
- Cost: £0.00. Every order ships FREE within the UK & USA.
- Timing: Your item is crafted specifically for you. Please allow 3-5 business days for production before it departs our green-lit HQ.
- Returns: If it arrives damaged or the pug messed up the print, we’ll sort it. No stress, no fuss.
Frequently asked questions
How do I choose the correct size?
Do not guess your size. Our funny slogan t-shirts and premium apparel use standard UK unisex sizing. Please consult the dedicated size guide located on this specific product page before adding the item to your basket. Taking a moment to measure a shirt you already own is the best way to ensure a proper fit and avoid looking like a burst sausage.
How long does delivery take?
We are unable to accept returns on certain items. These will be carefully marked before purchase.
When will I get my order?
Your new apparel or rude accessory is printed specifically for you. This sustainable print on demand process means production takes roughly 2 to 5 business days. Once your item is freshly printed, we will dispatch your order and provide a tracking link. Standard shipping within the UK and the US is completely free.
What is your return policy?
As every single item is a bespoke masterpiece printed to order, we do not accept returns or exchanges for a sudden change of heart or incorrect sizing. However, if your item arrives misprinted, faulty, or damaged by the courier, please contact our support team immediately with a clear photograph so we can resolve the issue.
How do I wash and care for this item?
Treat your new goods with the respect they deserve. Wash our organic cotton t-shirts inside out on a cool wash (30 degrees Celsius) and allow them to air dry to maintain their shape. Standard ceramic mugs are entirely dishwasher safe, but our heat colour changing mugs are delicate divas that must be washed by hand.
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?
A gentleman does not typically reveal his secrets, but for you, I will make an exception. I am Sir Cucumber Dog: a plush pug of unparalleled sophistication, permanently squeezed into a bespoke green cucumber print suit. The cucumber monocle is purely for judging your life choices, and the yellow bow tie is because I am not a savage.
As the Chairman of this establishment, I oversee a curated collection of rude and funny designs across mugs, tees, and coasters, all presented in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. I am the physical embodiment of a lifestyle that prioritises sharp tailoring, strong gin, and an overwhelming disdain for the general public.