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"My Favourite Word is Moist" Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog
£17.00
Sale price
£17.00
Regular price
Sir Cucumber Dog's Offensiveness Rating
Moist moist moist! I love a moist cake!
- CJO (Chief Judgement Officer)
🚚 Estimated delivery:
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.
A Linguistic Weapon of Mass Irritation
Sir Cucumber Dog has observed that the human race possesses a peculiar, collective loathing for a specific six-letter word. While he, being a cucumber-based entity, finds the concept of "moisture" to be a sign of peak freshness, he recognizes that for you lot, it is the verbal equivalent of a damp handshake.
Naturally, he has decided to put it on a mug.
This premium ceramic vessel features the Chairman in his signature cucumber-print suit, looking on with his usual aristocratic disdain as you watch your colleagues visibly shudder. The bold text proudly declares your preference for the most hated word in the English language. It is the perfect choice for the office antagonist, the professional pot-stirrer, or anyone who enjoys the silence that follows a truly uncomfortable statement.
The Chairman’s Audit: Offensive Rating
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Offensive Rating: 4/5
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The Chairman’s Quote: "Visceral. Unpleasant. A linguistic crime against humanity. Sir Cucumber Dog is delighted by the discomfort this will cause."
Why You Absolutely Require This Vessel
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Maximum Cringe Factor: Most rude mugs use profanity: this mug uses psychological warfare. It is far more effective at clearing a room.
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The Vault Exclusive: As part of our NSFW range, this is designed for those who have abandoned all hope of being liked and have chosen to be memorable instead.
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Elite Ceramic Build: Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the Cucumber green accents stay vibrant while you ruin everyone’s morning coffee.
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Built for Chaos: Dishwasher and microwave safe. The Chairman’s scowl and that dreaded word are engineered to resist fading, much like the memory of your poor social choices.
Technical Specifications
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Size Options: Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for when you have a lot of moisture to celebrate.
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Quality Materials: 100% glossy white ceramic with a high-definition, long-lasting print.
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Safety First: Lead and BPA-free. We protect your physical health while you damage your social standing.
Shipping & Returns
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for delivery.
- Cost: £0.00. Every order ships FREE within the UK & USA.
- Timing: Your item is crafted specifically for you. Please allow 3-5 business days for production before it departs our green-lit HQ.
- Returns: If it arrives damaged or the pug messed up the print, we’ll sort it. No stress, no fuss.
Frequently asked questions
How do I choose the correct size?
Do not guess your size. Our funny slogan t-shirts and premium apparel use standard UK unisex sizing. Please consult the dedicated size guide located on this specific product page before adding the item to your basket. Taking a moment to measure a shirt you already own is the best way to ensure a proper fit and avoid looking like a burst sausage.
How long does delivery take?
We are unable to accept returns on certain items. These will be carefully marked before purchase.
When will I get my order?
Your new apparel or rude accessory is printed specifically for you. This sustainable print on demand process means production takes roughly 2 to 5 business days. Once your item is freshly printed, we will dispatch your order and provide a tracking link. Standard shipping within the UK and the US is completely free.
What is your return policy?
As every single item is a bespoke masterpiece printed to order, we do not accept returns or exchanges for a sudden change of heart or incorrect sizing. However, if your item arrives misprinted, faulty, or damaged by the courier, please contact our support team immediately with a clear photograph so we can resolve the issue.
How do I wash and care for this item?
Treat your new goods with the respect they deserve. Wash our organic cotton t-shirts inside out on a cool wash (30 degrees Celsius) and allow them to air dry to maintain their shape. Standard ceramic mugs are entirely dishwasher safe, but our heat colour changing mugs are delicate divas that must be washed by hand.
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?
A gentleman does not typically reveal his secrets, but for you, I will make an exception. I am Sir Cucumber Dog: a plush pug of unparalleled sophistication, permanently squeezed into a bespoke green cucumber print suit. The cucumber monocle is purely for judging your life choices, and the yellow bow tie is because I am not a savage.
As the Chairman of this establishment, I oversee a curated collection of rude and funny designs across mugs, tees, and coasters, all presented in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. I am the physical embodiment of a lifestyle that prioritises sharp tailoring, strong gin, and an overwhelming disdain for the general public.