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"Rub Your Shoes On Me!" Flirty Indoor Door Mat
£28.99
Sale price
£28.99
Regular price
🚚 Estimated delivery:
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.
This hilarious and mildly naughty "Rub Your Shoes On Me! You Know You Want To!" indoor mat turns the simple act of cleaning your shoes into a cheeky invitation!
It's the ultimate piece of fun decor for those who love adult humour and don't mind a suggestive double entendre right on their doorstep. Featuring bold text and a cheeky cartoon face, this novelty mat perfectly captures the rude and playful spirit of your brand. It makes a brilliant gag gift or a funny housewarming gift for anyone with a dark sense of humour.
Key Features of this Suggestive Mat:
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Rude & Cheeky Greeting: The perfect way to make guests snicker and maybe blush a little bit right in your entryway.
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Highly Absorbent: Yes, this mat is asking for it! It's great for wiping dust and debris off shoes—a functional piece of comedy home decor.
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Stays Put: Designed with a durable, non-slip rubber base to hold its position firmly, no matter how much rubbing is going on.
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Vibrant Colour: The bright background colour ensures this mat grabs attention and delivers its suggestive message loud and clear.
Shipping & Returns
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for delivery.
- Cost: £0.00. Every order ships FREE within the UK & USA.
- Timing: Your item is crafted specifically for you. Please allow 3-5 business days for production before it departs our green-lit HQ.
- Returns: If it arrives damaged or the pug messed up the print, we’ll sort it. No stress, no fuss.
Frequently asked questions
How do I choose the correct size?
Do not guess your size. Our funny slogan t-shirts and premium apparel use standard UK unisex sizing. Please consult the dedicated size guide located on this specific product page before adding the item to your basket. Taking a moment to measure a shirt you already own is the best way to ensure a proper fit and avoid looking like a burst sausage.
How long does delivery take?
We are unable to accept returns on certain items. These will be carefully marked before purchase.
When will I get my order?
Your new apparel or rude accessory is printed specifically for you. This sustainable print on demand process means production takes roughly 2 to 5 business days. Once your item is freshly printed, we will dispatch your order and provide a tracking link. Standard shipping within the UK and the US is completely free.
What is your return policy?
As every single item is a bespoke masterpiece printed to order, we do not accept returns or exchanges for a sudden change of heart or incorrect sizing. However, if your item arrives misprinted, faulty, or damaged by the courier, please contact our support team immediately with a clear photograph so we can resolve the issue.
How do I wash and care for this item?
Treat your new goods with the respect they deserve. Wash our organic cotton t-shirts inside out on a cool wash (30 degrees Celsius) and allow them to air dry to maintain their shape. Standard ceramic mugs are entirely dishwasher safe, but our heat colour changing mugs are delicate divas that must be washed by hand.
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?
A gentleman does not typically reveal his secrets, but for you, I will make an exception. I am Sir Cucumber Dog: a plush pug of unparalleled sophistication, permanently squeezed into a bespoke green cucumber print suit. The cucumber monocle is purely for judging your life choices, and the yellow bow tie is because I am not a savage.
As the Chairman of this establishment, I oversee a curated collection of rude and funny designs across mugs, tees, and coasters, all presented in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. I am the physical embodiment of a lifestyle that prioritises sharp tailoring, strong gin, and an overwhelming disdain for the general public.