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You are a connoisseur of the low-effort, high-impact wind-up. You appreciate the art of making someone do something for absolutely no reason. This T-shirt is your masterpiece. It’s a beautifully simple contract of curiosity that you have no intention of honouring.
This tee makes a simple, intriguing offer: "(SEE REVERSE FOR DETAILS)". What details? Important, life-changing details? The punchline to a joke? The winning lottery numbers? No. The reverse is blank. The detail is that there are no details. Presiding over this magnificent act of time-wasting is Sir Cucumber Dog, in full colour. He knows there's nothing on the back. Your victim's brief moment of confused disappointment is his reward.
Perfect for wearing in queues, on packed public transport, or anywhere you want to enjoy the quiet satisfaction of knowing you've just made a complete stranger look at your back for no reason at all.
Why This Shirt is a Work of Art:
The Ultimate Anti-Climax: A beautifully crafted joke with a punchline of pure nothingness.
Sir Cucumber Dog in Full Colour: Our dapper pug is the smug face of your pointless prank.
Royal Mail, On The House: Dispatched with Free UK Shipping, because wasting people's time should be free.
Comfort for the Con Artist: Made from soft, sturdy cotton, ideal for walking away nonchalantly as someone squints at your blank back.
The Fiddly Bits (Specs):
Fabric Composition:
Solid colours are 100% cotton.
Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
Heather colours are a 50/50 cotton/polyester blend of pure, unwarranted curiosity.
Fabric Weight: A solid 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²).
Construction: Made with open-end yarn and tubular fabric, with a taped neck and shoulders. Plus double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem. It’s built to withstand the glares of the disappointed.
Sourced From: Our blank tees are sourced from various corners of the world (Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico).
A Note On Your Order (Freshly Printed Mischief): This shirt isn't just sitting around. Each one is printed fresh just for you the moment you place your order. This on-demand wizardry means it takes a little longer to arrive, but it's brilliant for cutting down on waste. You can't rush this level of elegant annoyance.
Heads-Up (Disclaimers):
The White tee is more of an 'off-white'.
The Natural colour has dark speckles in it. It's a feature, not a flaw.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
(SEE REVERSE FOR DETAILS) T-Shirt
£19.99
We print everything to order—because we hate waste and dusty stock. Due to this highly customised effort, delivery takes 4–8 days (yes, you have to wait). If you’re lucky, it’s 2–5. We’ll send a dispatch email when your stuff is finally on its way.
This tee makes a simple, intriguing offer: "(SEE REVERSE FOR DETAILS)". What details? Important, life-changing details? The punchline to a joke? The winning lottery numbers? No. The reverse is blank. The detail is that there are no details. Presiding over this magnificent act of time-wasting is Sir Cucumber Dog, in full colour. He knows there's nothing on the back. Your victim's brief moment of confused disappointment is his reward.
Perfect for wearing in queues, on packed public transport, or anywhere you want to enjoy the quiet satisfaction of knowing you've just made a complete stranger look at your back for no reason at all.
Why This Shirt is a Work of Art:
The Ultimate Anti-Climax: A beautifully crafted joke with a punchline of pure nothingness.
Sir Cucumber Dog in Full Colour: Our dapper pug is the smug face of your pointless prank.
Royal Mail, On The House: Dispatched with Free UK Shipping, because wasting people's time should be free.
Comfort for the Con Artist: Made from soft, sturdy cotton, ideal for walking away nonchalantly as someone squints at your blank back.
The Fiddly Bits (Specs):
Fabric Composition:
Solid colours are 100% cotton.
Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
Heather colours are a 50/50 cotton/polyester blend of pure, unwarranted curiosity.
Fabric Weight: A solid 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²).
Construction: Made with open-end yarn and tubular fabric, with a taped neck and shoulders. Plus double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem. It’s built to withstand the glares of the disappointed.
Sourced From: Our blank tees are sourced from various corners of the world (Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico).
A Note On Your Order (Freshly Printed Mischief): This shirt isn't just sitting around. Each one is printed fresh just for you the moment you place your order. This on-demand wizardry means it takes a little longer to arrive, but it's brilliant for cutting down on waste. You can't rush this level of elegant annoyance.
Heads-Up (Disclaimers):
The White tee is more of an 'off-white'.
The Natural colour has dark speckles in it. It's a feature, not a flaw.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | SLEEVE LENGTH (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 18 | 15 ⅝ |
| M | 29 | 20 | 17 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 18 ½ |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 20 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 21 ½ |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 22 ¾ |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | SLEEVE LENGTH (cm) | |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 39.7 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 43.2 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 47 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 50.8 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 54.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 58 |
Every brilliant mug, tee, or coaster you order is made especially for you using print-on-demand. This custom process is personally overseen by our mascot, Sir Cucumber Dog, who ensures his cucumber monocle is positioned just right for the official 'Pug of Approval' stamp. Because we don't hold stock and craft everything bespoke, your order takes a little longer to arrive than rushed, mass-produced items. But this extra time guarantees a high-quality, perfectly rude, and funny product made just for you!
