Skip to product information
The Male Dreamer Bath Mat
£23.99
We print everything to order—because we hate waste and dusty stock. Due to this highly customised effort, delivery takes 4–8 days (yes, you have to wait). If you’re lucky, it’s 2–5. We’ll send a dispatch email when your stuff is finally on its way.
Warning: Requires a good sense of humour (and a bit of ego).
This rude bath mat isn't just about drying your feet; it's about setting a very specific expectation. We call it 'The Male Dreamer Mat' because, well, it's designed to make one particular part of the male anatomy feel perfectly... centred.
Featuring two footprints and one perfectly placed small white circle, the suggestive joke is clear: this is where a man’s piece goes. It’s the ultimate gag gift for him, brilliant for a partner, best mate, or anyone who appreciates a good bit of lowbrow British banter in the bathroom. Stop giving boring gifts and choose a funny novelty mat they'll actually use!
✨ Product Details: High-Quality Humour
Don't let the cheeky design fool you—this is a high-quality, comfortable, and safe novelty toilet mat.
-
Soft Microfibre Top: Highly absorbent microfibre material feels soft and luxurious under your feet (and any other bits).
-
Cushioned Memory Foam Inner: Experience plush comfort every time you step out of the shower. This memory foam bath mat is built to last.
-
Non-Slip Base: Crucial for bathroom safety, the base ensures this mat stays put, even on slick tiles.
-
Approx. Size: A good size for standing on at $40 \times 60 \ \text{cm}$.
🎨 Decoration and Care Instructions
-
Vibrant Edge-to-Edge Print: The stark white footprints and the crucial joke circle are printed clearly and crisply using high-quality dye-sublimation on the deep black base.
-
Keeping It Clean: To keep this piece of comedy decor clean, simply wash at 30 degrees. Please avoid tumble drying to maintain the mat's shape and its funny focus.
Every brilliant mug, tee, or coaster you order is made especially for you using print-on-demand. This custom process is personally overseen by our mascot, Sir Cucumber Dog, who ensures his cucumber monocle is positioned just right for the official 'Pug of Approval' stamp. Because we don't hold stock and craft everything bespoke, your order takes a little longer to arrive than rushed, mass-produced items. But this extra time guarantees a high-quality, perfectly rude, and funny product made just for you!
