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The 'Old Man's Sack' Bath Mat
£23.99
We print everything to order—because we hate waste and dusty stock. Due to this highly customised effort, delivery takes 4–8 days (yes, you have to wait). If you’re lucky, it’s 2–5. We’ll send a dispatch email when your stuff is finally on its way.
Tired of boring bathroom décor? Spice up your ablutions and add a touch of genuine vulgarity with this hilariously inappropriate bath mat! Featuring our subtly suggestive two-feet and two-egg design, this novelty bath mat looks exactly like an old man's sagging nuts, and we think that's bloody brilliant. It’s the perfect, rude adult humour gift for someone who loves truly cheeky home accessories.
Key Features (Why You Need This Inappropriate Bath Mat):
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Size: Approx. 40 x 60 cm—the perfect spot for your toilet mat area or outside the shower. Stand and ponder the meaning of life, or just dry your feet in style.
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Supreme Comfort: This is a luxury memory foam bath mat! Made with a soft microfibre top and a cushioned memory foam inner. It’s so plush and comfortable, you’ll forget what vulgar design you’re standing on... almost.
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Stay Put Safety: Features a non-slip base for extra safety, preventing slips and slides. Nobody needs to slip on a sack!
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Vibrant & Bold Artwork: Your chosen rude artwork is printed edge-to-edge using high-quality dye-sublimation on an antique white base. This process guarantees vibrant colours and sharp detail that Sir Cucumber Dog himself would approve of.
🧼 Care Instructions:
Keep your nuts looking fresh and clean:
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Wash at 30 degrees.
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Avoid tumble drying (don't shrink the rudeness!).
Sir Cucumber Dog Says: "One must appreciate the elegance of a full and generous sag. Use this rude bathroom mat to bring a touch of class-A vulgarity to your wet room, you delightful rotter!"
Every brilliant mug, tee, or coaster you order is made especially for you using print-on-demand. This custom process is personally overseen by our mascot, Sir Cucumber Dog, who ensures his cucumber monocle is positioned just right for the official 'Pug of Approval' stamp. Because we don't hold stock and craft everything bespoke, your order takes a little longer to arrive than rushed, mass-produced items. But this extra time guarantees a high-quality, perfectly rude, and funny product made just for you!
