Skip to product information
This Is Not My Real Face T-shirt
£19.99
We print everything to order—because we hate waste and dusty stock. Due to this highly customised effort, delivery takes 4–8 days (yes, you have to wait). If you’re lucky, it’s 2–5. We’ll send a dispatch email when your stuff is finally on its way.
We all have those days, don't we? The ones where your "customer service smile" is stuck on and you're mentally somewhere far, far away. This "This Is Not My Real Face" T-shirt is the ultimate truth-teller for anyone who's mastered the art of polite social deception. It's the perfect rude and funny tee for expressing your true feelings without saying a single word (because let's be honest, you're probably too tired).
Featuring the iconic text in bold, clear lettering, and our very own Sir Cucumber Dog in his signature lime green, this shirt is a must-have for the subtly sarcastic and the effortlessly unimpressed. It makes a brilliant gift for friends, colleagues, or anyone who frequently needs a break from being on.
Quality & Production Details
FREE UK POSTAGE! That's right, the price you see is the price you pay for delivery anywhere in the UK.
Please Note: We print just for you! This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction and is better for the planet, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions! Because your shirt is printed on demand, please allow up to 7-10 working days for delivery.
Product Specifications
-
Premium Quality Fabric:
-
Solid colors are 100% Cotton.
-
Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
-
Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
-
Heather colors are a comfortable 50% cotton, 50% polyester blend.
-
-
Durable Build: Features a sturdy fabric weight of (approx. ).
-
Comfort Fit: Constructed with open-end yarn and seamless tubular fabric.
-
Lasting Wear: Taped neck and shoulders, with a double seam at the sleeves and bottom hem for enhanced durability.
A Few Cheeky Notes Before You Buy (Disclaimers)
We like to keep things real, so here are a couple of heads-ups about our awesome fabrics:
-
Not-So-Bright White: If you order the White variant, don't expect blinding perfection! Due to the fabric's natural charm, it might lean a little towards off-white. Think of it as Sir Cucumber Dog's elegantly aged bow tie—it’s sophisticated, not sterile.
-
Speckled Sass (Natural Only): Choosing the Natural color? Prepare for some personality! You'll spot cool little dark color speckles peppered throughout the fabric. It’s not a mistake; it’s just the shirt’s way of saying, "I'm earthy and I don't follow all the rules!"
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | SLEEVE LENGTH (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 18 | 15 ⅝ |
| M | 29 | 20 | 17 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 18 ½ |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 20 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 21 ½ |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 22 ¾ |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | SLEEVE LENGTH (cm) | |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 39.7 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 43.2 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 47 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 50.8 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 54.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 58 |
Every brilliant mug, tee, or coaster you order is made especially for you using print-on-demand. This custom process is personally overseen by our mascot, Sir Cucumber Dog, who ensures his cucumber monocle is positioned just right for the official 'Pug of Approval' stamp. Because we don't hold stock and craft everything bespoke, your order takes a little longer to arrive than rushed, mass-produced items. But this extra time guarantees a high-quality, perfectly rude, and funny product made just for you!
