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This T-shirt Is Machine Washable T-shirt
£19.99
We print everything to order—because we hate waste and dusty stock. Due to this highly customised effort, delivery takes 4–8 days (yes, you have to wait). If you’re lucky, it’s 2–5. We’ll send a dispatch email when your stuff is finally on its way.
For the serial over-analyzer, the chronic second-guesser, and anyone who's ever stared at a washing machine dial like it's a bomb disposal unit. This T-shirt offers a rare moment of clarity in a chaotic world. It's not a metaphor. It's not a riddle. It's a simple, beautiful instruction... followed by a command for your perpetually buzzing brain.
With "DON'T" blaring in our signature lime green, this tee provides the only life advice you really need. This shirt is machine washable. That's it. No hidden meanings, no complex variables. Just chuck it in. Sir Cucumber Dog is here to back it up, silently judging your hesitation and wondering why this is so hard for you.
Perfect for laundry day, decision-making paralysis, or any situation where your brain needs a firm, fabric-based talking-to.
Why This Shirt Is A No-Brainer:
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Hilariously Meta: A care instruction label disguised as a life philosophy.
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Free UK Shipping: Because deciding to buy shouldn't be another thing to stress about.
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Sir Cucumber Dog Approved: Our pug companion is the voice of reason you desperately need.
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Supreme Comfort: Made from soft cotton, perfect for maximum comfort while you overthink other, more important things.
The Technical Mumbo-Jumbo (Specs):
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Fabric Composition:
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Solid colours are 100% cotton.
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Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
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Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
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Heather colours are a 50/50 cotton/polyester blend, for when you can't decide.
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Fabric Weight: A solid 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²). It's a reassuringly simple fact.
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Construction: Made with open-end yarn and tubular fabric, with a taped neck and shoulders. Plus double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem. It's built to withstand your indecision.
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Sourced From: Our blank tees come from various corners of the world (Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico).
A Note On Your Order (Don't worry, we've thought this part through): We don't keep stacks of these tees lying around. Each one is printed fresh just for you the moment you click 'buy'. This on-demand approach means it might take a tad longer to arrive, but it's brilliant for cutting down on waste. So, you've already made one good, thoughtful decision today. See? You're getting the hang of it.
Heads-Up (Disclaimers - more simple facts):
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The White tee is more of an 'off-white'. No need to analyse the specific shade.
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The Natural colour has dark speckles in it. It's a feature, not a flaw. Accept it and move on.
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | SLEEVE LENGTH (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 18 | 15 ⅝ |
| M | 29 | 20 | 17 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 18 ½ |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 20 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 21 ½ |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 22 ¾ |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | SLEEVE LENGTH (cm) | |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 39.7 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 43.2 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 47 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 50.8 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 54.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 58 |
Every brilliant mug, tee, or coaster you order is made especially for you using print-on-demand. This custom process is personally overseen by our mascot, Sir Cucumber Dog, who ensures his cucumber monocle is positioned just right for the official 'Pug of Approval' stamp. Because we don't hold stock and craft everything bespoke, your order takes a little longer to arrive than rushed, mass-produced items. But this extra time guarantees a high-quality, perfectly rude, and funny product made just for you!
