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Twats Food Corner" Pet Bowl Mat
£26.00
Sale price
£26.00
Regular price
🚚 Estimated delivery:
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.
Let's be honest, feeding time can be a disaster zone. If your beloved little monster eats like they’ve been raised by wolves, it’s time to officially designate their dining area. Welcome to the "Twats Food Corner" – the only dining mat that’s as cheeky as they are.
This isn't just a mat; it's a statement.
Presiding over the chaos are two illustrations of your favourite grumpy-but-dapper pug, Sir Cucumber Dog. Dressed in his signature cucumber-print suit, yellow bow tie, and monocle, he casts a judgemental eye over every stray kibble and sloppy splash. He’s seen it all, and he is not impressed.
Set against your brand's signature lime green background with a stylish bone pattern, this mat is the perfect blend of rude humour and (dare we say) sophistication.
Key Features:
For the Discerningly Messy Pet: This mat proudly marks their territory. Ideal for the dog who slurps, the cat who flings, or any four-legged friend with questionable table manners.
Generous Size (60x4A0cm): Large enough to comfortably fit both food and water bowls, creating a dedicated "splash zone" that protects your clean floors from the ensuing carnage.
Stays Put: Features a non-slip rubber backing to ensure the mat—and the bowls—stay exactly where you put them. No more chasing the water bowl across the kitchen.
Absorbent & Easy to Clean: The durable, absorbent fabric top soaks up spills and is easy to wipe clean, keeping Sir Cucumber Dog looking his dapper (and judgemental) best, meal after meal.
Vibrant & Rude: The high-quality print ensures the lime green stays bright and the text stays offensive. It’s a guaranteed conversation-starter (or stopper, depending on your guests).
Stop scrubbing the floor and give your little twat the dining station they truly deserve.
Shipping & Returns
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for delivery.
- Cost: £0.00. Every order ships FREE within the UK & USA.
- Timing: Your item is crafted specifically for you. Please allow 3-5 business days for production before it departs our green-lit HQ.
- Returns: If it arrives damaged or the pug messed up the print, we’ll sort it. No stress, no fuss.
Frequently asked questions
How do I choose the correct size?
Do not guess your size. Our funny slogan t-shirts and premium apparel use standard UK unisex sizing. Please consult the dedicated size guide located on this specific product page before adding the item to your basket. Taking a moment to measure a shirt you already own is the best way to ensure a proper fit and avoid looking like a burst sausage.
How long does delivery take?
We are unable to accept returns on certain items. These will be carefully marked before purchase.
When will I get my order?
Your new apparel or rude accessory is printed specifically for you. This sustainable print on demand process means production takes roughly 2 to 5 business days. Once your item is freshly printed, we will dispatch your order and provide a tracking link. Standard shipping within the UK and the US is completely free.
What is your return policy?
As every single item is a bespoke masterpiece printed to order, we do not accept returns or exchanges for a sudden change of heart or incorrect sizing. However, if your item arrives misprinted, faulty, or damaged by the courier, please contact our support team immediately with a clear photograph so we can resolve the issue.
How do I wash and care for this item?
Treat your new goods with the respect they deserve. Wash our organic cotton t-shirts inside out on a cool wash (30 degrees Celsius) and allow them to air dry to maintain their shape. Standard ceramic mugs are entirely dishwasher safe, but our heat colour changing mugs are delicate divas that must be washed by hand.
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?
A gentleman does not typically reveal his secrets, but for you, I will make an exception. I am Sir Cucumber Dog: a plush pug of unparalleled sophistication, permanently squeezed into a bespoke green cucumber print suit. The cucumber monocle is purely for judging your life choices, and the yellow bow tie is because I am not a savage.
As the Chairman of this establishment, I oversee a curated collection of rude and funny designs across mugs, tees, and coasters, all presented in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. I am the physical embodiment of a lifestyle that prioritises sharp tailoring, strong gin, and an overwhelming disdain for the general public.