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WARNING: The Dog Lick Mat (Indoor Entrance Mat)
£28.99
Sale price
£28.99
Regular price
🚚 Estimated delivery:
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.
Finally, an honest greeting mat for the dog owner who keeps it real!
This funny indoor mat is the perfect way to greet guests and deliver a hilarious, cringe-worthy warning about the true nature of your beloved, yet slightly gross, companion. It's the ideal gag gift for dog lovers with a wicked sense of humour who doesn't mind a little bit of dog-spit (and whatever else came before it!). It perfectly complements the rest of your rude and funny home accessories.
Key Features of this Gross-Out Mat:
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Hilarious Warning: Features the bold text, "WARNING: DOG WILL LICK YOU. (AFTER IT'S LICKED ITS BITS.)"
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Sets Expectations: Ensures your guests know the quality and flavour of the welcome they're about to receive right in the entryway.
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Non-Slip Security: Comes with a reliable non-slip rubber backing to keep the mat firmly in place, even when the dog is rushing to deliver its slobbery, questionable greeting.
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Great Print Quality: Designed for a large, vivid print that ensures this crucial dog licking warning is the first thing every visitor sees.
Shipping & Returns
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for delivery.
- Cost: £0.00. Every order ships FREE within the UK & USA.
- Timing: Your item is crafted specifically for you. Please allow 3-5 business days for production before it departs our green-lit HQ.
- Returns: If it arrives damaged or the pug messed up the print, we’ll sort it. No stress, no fuss.
Frequently asked questions
How do I choose the correct size?
Do not guess your size. Our funny slogan t-shirts and premium apparel use standard UK unisex sizing. Please consult the dedicated size guide located on this specific product page before adding the item to your basket. Taking a moment to measure a shirt you already own is the best way to ensure a proper fit and avoid looking like a burst sausage.
How long does delivery take?
We are unable to accept returns on certain items. These will be carefully marked before purchase.
When will I get my order?
Your new apparel or rude accessory is printed specifically for you. This sustainable print on demand process means production takes roughly 2 to 5 business days. Once your item is freshly printed, we will dispatch your order and provide a tracking link. Standard shipping within the UK and the US is completely free.
What is your return policy?
As every single item is a bespoke masterpiece printed to order, we do not accept returns or exchanges for a sudden change of heart or incorrect sizing. However, if your item arrives misprinted, faulty, or damaged by the courier, please contact our support team immediately with a clear photograph so we can resolve the issue.
How do I wash and care for this item?
Treat your new goods with the respect they deserve. Wash our organic cotton t-shirts inside out on a cool wash (30 degrees Celsius) and allow them to air dry to maintain their shape. Standard ceramic mugs are entirely dishwasher safe, but our heat colour changing mugs are delicate divas that must be washed by hand.
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?
A gentleman does not typically reveal his secrets, but for you, I will make an exception. I am Sir Cucumber Dog: a plush pug of unparalleled sophistication, permanently squeezed into a bespoke green cucumber print suit. The cucumber monocle is purely for judging your life choices, and the yellow bow tie is because I am not a savage.
As the Chairman of this establishment, I oversee a curated collection of rude and funny designs across mugs, tees, and coasters, all presented in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. I am the physical embodiment of a lifestyle that prioritises sharp tailoring, strong gin, and an overwhelming disdain for the general public.