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"Dad, You Should've Pulled Out" Kids' T-Shirt Cucumber Dog
£23.00
Sale price
£23.00
Regular price
Sir Cucumber Dog's Offensiveness Rating
A kid wearing this, totally offensive!
- CJO (Chief Judgement Officer)
🚚 Estimated delivery:
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.
Honesty is the best policy, even if it makes Dad a little uncomfortable at the dinner table. This tee features the legendary Cucumber Dog and the unmistakably bold statement: "DAD. YOU SHOULD'VE PULLED OUT." It's the perfect way for the "happy accident" of the family to show off their sense of humour. Whether they are causing trouble at a family gathering or just being a menace at home, this organic cotton tee ensures they stay comfortable while delivering the ultimate punchline. High-quality, eco-conscious, and guaranteed to get a laugh (or a very long sigh) from Dad.
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Premium Material: 100% cotton for a classic, breathable feel.
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Note: Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
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Built to Last: Heavyweight fabric at 5.3 oz./yd² (180 g/m²) with taped neck and shoulders for extra durability.
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Perfect Fit: Classic fit and pre-shrunk fabric to ensure the size stays true after washing.
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Comfort First: Features a tear-away tag to prevent itching and irritation.
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Eco-Conscious: Made with OEKO-TEX certified low-impact dyes.
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Sourcing: Blank product sourced from the Dominican Republic, Honduras, Haiti, Nicaragua, or El Salvador.
Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White colour variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
Why This Garment Is Essential (According to the Chairman)
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The Ultimate Ice-Breaker: Most children's clothes are nauseatingly sweet. This t-shirt is a refreshing dose of reality. It serves as an immediate conversation starter (or stopper) at supermarkets, playgroups, and awkward family gatherings.
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Superior Durability for Chaotic Progeny: Sir Cucumber Dog understands that "accidents" are often high-energy. This tee is crafted from heavyweight 180 g/m² cotton, meaning it will survive the playground far better than your father's pride survived the moment he read the slogan.
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A Catalyst for Family Drama: If you find Sunday lunch with the in-laws a bit too peaceful, this is the solution. It is designed to elicit gasps, sighs, and the occasional frantic explanation from parents. It isn't just a shirt: it is a social experiment.
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Premium Comfort for Uncomfortable Truths: While the message is abrasive, the fabric is not. We use 100% premium cotton with a tear-away tag to ensure your child remains comfortable while they are busy reminding their father of his past failures in coordination.
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Eco-Conscious Disrespect: We use OEKO-TEX certified low-impact dyes. This means that while you are ruining a reputation, you are at least being kind to the planet. Sir Cucumber Dog approves of sustainability: waste is, after all, quite common.
Who Is This For? (Recipients of Chaos)
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The Brutally Honest Offspring: For the child who has already mastered the art of the "truth bomb." If they are going to say it anyway, they might as well wear it.
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The "Happy Accident": A self-aware garment for the child who knows exactly how they arrived and isn't afraid to make it everyone else's problem.
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The Family Roast Master: Perfect for the kid who is always the centre of attention. This tee ensures that even when they aren't speaking, they are still winning the argument.
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The Discerning Gift-Giver: An ideal present for uncles, aunts, or "friends of the family" who want to provide a gift that the parents will never, ever forget (no matter how hard they try).
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | CHEST (inches) | |
| XS | 20 ½ | 16 |
| S | 22 | 17 |
| M | 23 ½ | 18 |
| L | 25 | 19 |
| XL | 26 ½ | 20 |
| LENGTH (cm) | CHEST (cm) | |
| XS | 52 | 40.6 |
| S | 55.9 | 43.2 |
| M | 59.7 | 45.7 |
| L | 63.5 | 48.3 |
| XL | 67.3 | 50.8 |
Shipping & Returns
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for delivery.
- Cost: £0.00. Every order ships FREE within the UK & USA.
- Timing: Your item is crafted specifically for you. Please allow 3-5 business days for production before it departs our green-lit HQ.
- Returns: If it arrives damaged or the pug messed up the print, we’ll sort it. No stress, no fuss.
Frequently asked questions
How do I choose the correct size?
Do not guess your size. Our funny slogan t-shirts use standard UK unisex sizing. Please consult the dedicated size guide located on this specific product page before adding the item to your basket. Taking a moment to measure a shirt you already own is the best way to ensure a proper fit and avoid looking like a burst sausage.
When will I receive my order?
Patience is a virtue we know you lack. Your new premium streetwear is printed specifically for you upon order. Production takes roughly 2 to 5 business days. Once your item is freshly printed and shipped, we will provide a tracking link. Standard shipping within the UK and the US is completely free.
What is your return policy?
As every single item is a bespoke masterpiece printed to order, we do not accept returns or exchanges for a sudden change of heart or incorrect sizing. Read the size guide. However, if your t-shirt arrives misprinted, faulty, or damaged by the courier, please contact our support team immediately with a clear photograph. We will resolve the issue swiftly.
How do I wash and care for this item?
Treat your new garments with the respect they deserve. Wash our heavyweight cotton t-shirts inside out on a cool wash (30 degrees Celsius) to protect the print. Tumble drying is for amateurs; hang it up to air dry to maintain the shape and premium feel.