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Sir Cucumber Dog "Sweeping The Floor With Your Nuts" Mug
£17.00
Sale price
£17.00
Regular price
Sir Cucumber Dog's Offensiveness Rating
"A highly sophisticated delivery of a tragically biological truth."
- CJO (Chief Judgement Officer)
🚚 Estimated delivery:
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.
Give the perfect rude birthday gag gift with the Sir Cucumber Dog "Sweeping The Floor With Your Nuts" mug. Featuring our signature plush pug in his bespoke cucumber green suit, yellow bow tie, and cucumber monocle, this vintage style ceramic mug delivers cheeky British humour straight to their morning coffee. Available in both standard 11 oz and large 15 oz sizes.
The Design & Story Gravity spares no man. Celebrate another year on the clock with a design that mixes high class sophistication with brilliant low brow humour. Set against a distressed, vintage parchment background in our signature Cucumber cream, complete with anatomical walnut illustrations, Sir Cucumber Dog stares in judgement while delivering the ultimate birthday reality check: "CONGRATULATIONS! You're officially one year closer to sweeping the floor with your nuts."
Premium Technical Specifications We use premium ceramic bases fulfilled through Printful to ensure your cheeky gift survives daily use and multiple washes without fading.
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Material: 100% durable white ceramic
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Sizes Available: 11 oz standard brew and 15 oz large
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Care Instructions: Microwave and dishwasher safe
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Print Quality: High colour wrap around sublimation printing
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Finish: Glossy, scratch resistant surface
Colonial Translation For our friends across the pond, here is your translation guide:
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Cheeky humour: Sassy humor
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Sweeping the floor: Dragging on the ground
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Nuts: Balls or testicles
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Colour: Color
Shipping & Returns
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for delivery.
- Cost: £0.00. Every order ships FREE within the UK & USA.
- Timing: Your item is crafted specifically for you. Please allow 3-5 business days for production before it departs our green-lit HQ.
- Returns: If it arrives damaged or the pug messed up the print, we’ll sort it. No stress, no fuss.
Frequently asked questions
How do I choose the correct size?
Do not guess your size. Our funny slogan t-shirts and premium apparel use standard UK unisex sizing. Please consult the dedicated size guide located on this specific product page before adding the item to your basket. Taking a moment to measure a shirt you already own is the best way to ensure a proper fit and avoid looking like a burst sausage.
How long does delivery take?
We are unable to accept returns on certain items. These will be carefully marked before purchase.
When will I get my order?
Your new apparel or rude accessory is printed specifically for you. This sustainable print on demand process means production takes roughly 2 to 5 business days. Once your item is freshly printed, we will dispatch your order and provide a tracking link. Standard shipping within the UK and the US is completely free.
What is your return policy?
As every single item is a bespoke masterpiece printed to order, we do not accept returns or exchanges for a sudden change of heart or incorrect sizing. However, if your item arrives misprinted, faulty, or damaged by the courier, please contact our support team immediately with a clear photograph so we can resolve the issue.
How do I wash and care for this item?
Treat your new goods with the respect they deserve. Wash our organic cotton t-shirts inside out on a cool wash (30 degrees Celsius) and allow them to air dry to maintain their shape. Standard ceramic mugs are entirely dishwasher safe, but our heat colour changing mugs are delicate divas that must be washed by hand.
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?
A gentleman does not typically reveal his secrets, but for you, I will make an exception. I am Sir Cucumber Dog: a plush pug of unparalleled sophistication, permanently squeezed into a bespoke green cucumber print suit. The cucumber monocle is purely for judging your life choices, and the yellow bow tie is because I am not a savage.
As the Chairman of this establishment, I oversee a curated collection of rude and funny designs across mugs, tees, and coasters, all presented in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. I am the physical embodiment of a lifestyle that prioritises sharp tailoring, strong gin, and an overwhelming disdain for the general public.