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Sir Cucumber Dog Coasters (Set of 4) | Rude Pug Gift | Funny Novelty Coaster Set
£20.00
Estimated delivery:
🚚 FREE Shipping to the UK & USA
Let's be honest. Your tables are crying out for help. Those coffee rings aren't "rustic," they're a crime. Enter Sir Cucumber Dog, the hero your furniture deserves.
This dapper, grumpy-faced pug is here to silently judge your beverage choices while flawlessly protecting your surfaces. Dressed in his signature cucumber-print suit, he’s ready to add some serious attitude to your living room, office, or home bar.
This set of four coasters is the perfect rude gift for anyone who loves pugs, hates stains, or just has a gloriously funny sense of humour. It's the essential novelty home decor accessory for a cheeky brand fan.
👑 The Royal Specs (Coasters That Tell the Truth) 👑
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A Full Squad (Pack of 4): You get four coasters, each featuring Sir Cucumber's unimpressed face—perfect for any coffee table.
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Generously Sized: 96 x 96mm Ideal for everything from your morning coffee mug to your evening wine glass or beer pint.
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Properly Chunky: 4mm These aren't flimsy bits of cardboard. They’re substantial, durable, and ready to take on even your clumsiest moments.
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No-Slip Grip (Natural Cork Base): The non-slip cork bottom ensures your drink (and Sir Cucumber) stays exactly where you put it, protecting your wooden furniture.
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Slick & Glossy (Wipeable Finish): A high-gloss, vibrant finish not only makes the lime green background pop, but it’s also ridiculously easy to wipe clean.
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Shipping & Returns
Return policy
Our goal is for every customer to be totally satisfied with their purchase. If this isn't the case, let us know and we'll do our best to work with you to make it right.
Shipping
We will work quickly to ship your order as soon as possible. Once your order has shipped, you will receive an email with further information. Delivery times vary depending on your location.
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for delivery.
- Cost: £0.00. Every order ships FREE within the UK & USA.
- Timing: Your item is crafted specifically for you. Please allow 3-5 business days for production before it departs our green-lit HQ.
- Returns: If it arrives damaged or the pug messed up the print, we’ll sort it. No stress, no fuss.
Frequently asked questions
How do I choose the correct size?
Do not guess your size. Our funny slogan t-shirts and premium apparel use standard UK unisex sizing. Please consult the dedicated size guide located on this specific product page before adding the item to your basket. Taking a moment to measure a shirt you already own is the best way to ensure a proper fit and avoid looking like a burst sausage.
How long does delivery take?
We are unable to accept returns on certain items. These will be carefully marked before purchase.
When will I get my order?
Your new apparel or rude accessory is printed specifically for you. This sustainable print on demand process means production takes roughly 2 to 5 business days. Once your item is freshly printed, we will dispatch your order and provide a tracking link. Standard shipping within the UK and the US is completely free.
What is your return policy?
As every single item is a bespoke masterpiece printed to order, we do not accept returns or exchanges for a sudden change of heart or incorrect sizing. However, if your item arrives misprinted, faulty, or damaged by the courier, please contact our support team immediately with a clear photograph so we can resolve the issue.
How do I wash and care for this item?
Treat your new goods with the respect they deserve. Wash our organic cotton t-shirts inside out on a cool wash (30 degrees Celsius) and allow them to air dry to maintain their shape. Standard ceramic mugs are entirely dishwasher safe, but our heat colour changing mugs are delicate divas that must be washed by hand.
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?
A gentleman does not typically reveal his secrets, but for you, I will make an exception. I am Sir Cucumber Dog: a plush pug of unparalleled sophistication, permanently squeezed into a bespoke green cucumber print suit. The cucumber monocle is purely for judging your life choices, and the yellow bow tie is because I am not a savage.
As the Chairman of this establishment, I oversee a curated collection of rude and funny designs across mugs, tees, and coasters, all presented in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. I am the physical embodiment of a lifestyle that prioritises sharp tailoring, strong gin, and an overwhelming disdain for the general public.