What Time Isn't It?" T-Shirt | Sir Cucumber Dog | Mind Games Collection
Black / S
£19.99
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Time is a social construct, and frankly, it’s one we’re tired of following. This T-shirt is designed to induce a very specific kind of mental short-circuit in anyone who tries to read it. It’s not about what time it is; it’s about the infinite possibilities of what time it isn’t.
Part of our Mind Games Collection, this tee is a wearable existential crisis. It’s the perfect attire for those days when you’ve lost all track of reality, or when you simply want to watch a stranger’s brain reboot as they try to process the logic of the question.
With the Cucumber Dog brand mark sitting quietly underneath, it carries the seal of approval from the most dapper pug in the business. Whether you’re queuing for a coffee at 3 AM or 3 PM (who can tell?), this shirt ensures that nobody—including you—really knows what’s going on.
Why This Shirt is a Temporal Triumph:
Existential Dread, Tailored: The ultimate conversation stopper for people who ask "got the time?"
Subtle Psychological Warfare: A simple question that becomes more confusing the longer you look at it.
Royal Mail, On The House: Dispatched with Free UK Shipping, arriving exactly when it’s meant to (whenever that is).
Comfort for the Chronologically Confused: Made from soft, sturdy cotton, ideal for wasting time in style.
The Fiddly Bits (Specs):
Fabric Composition: * Solid colours are 100% cotton.
Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
Heather colours are a 50/50 cotton/polyester blend of pure, timeless confusion.
Fabric Weight: A solid 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²).
Construction: Made with open-end yarn and tubular fabric, with a taped neck and shoulders. Plus double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem.
Sourced From: Our blank tees are sourced from various corners of the world (Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico).
A Note On Your Order (Printed in its own time): This shirt isn't just sitting in a warehouse. Each one is printed fresh just for you the moment you place your order. This on-demand wizardry means it takes a little longer to arrive, but it’s brilliant for cutting down on waste. You can't rush a masterpiece of mental manipulation.
Heads-Up (Disclaimers):
The White tee is more of an 'off-white'.
The Natural colour has dark speckles in it. It's a feature, not a flaw.
What Time Isn't It?" T-Shirt | Sir Cucumber Dog | Mind Games Collection
£19.99
We print everything to order—because we hate waste and dusty stock. Due to this highly customised effort, delivery takes 4–8 days (yes, you have to wait). If you’re lucky, it’s 2–5. We’ll send a dispatch email when your stuff is finally on its way.
Part of our Mind Games Collection, this tee is a wearable existential crisis. It’s the perfect attire for those days when you’ve lost all track of reality, or when you simply want to watch a stranger’s brain reboot as they try to process the logic of the question.
With the Cucumber Dog brand mark sitting quietly underneath, it carries the seal of approval from the most dapper pug in the business. Whether you’re queuing for a coffee at 3 AM or 3 PM (who can tell?), this shirt ensures that nobody—including you—really knows what’s going on.
Why This Shirt is a Temporal Triumph:
Existential Dread, Tailored: The ultimate conversation stopper for people who ask "got the time?"
Subtle Psychological Warfare: A simple question that becomes more confusing the longer you look at it.
Royal Mail, On The House: Dispatched with Free UK Shipping, arriving exactly when it’s meant to (whenever that is).
Comfort for the Chronologically Confused: Made from soft, sturdy cotton, ideal for wasting time in style.
The Fiddly Bits (Specs):
Fabric Composition: * Solid colours are 100% cotton.
Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
Heather colours are a 50/50 cotton/polyester blend of pure, timeless confusion.
Fabric Weight: A solid 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²).
Construction: Made with open-end yarn and tubular fabric, with a taped neck and shoulders. Plus double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem.
Sourced From: Our blank tees are sourced from various corners of the world (Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico).
A Note On Your Order (Printed in its own time): This shirt isn't just sitting in a warehouse. Each one is printed fresh just for you the moment you place your order. This on-demand wizardry means it takes a little longer to arrive, but it’s brilliant for cutting down on waste. You can't rush a masterpiece of mental manipulation.
Heads-Up (Disclaimers):
The White tee is more of an 'off-white'.
The Natural colour has dark speckles in it. It's a feature, not a flaw.
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | SLEEVE LENGTH (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 18 | 15 ⅝ |
| M | 29 | 20 | 17 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 18 ½ |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 20 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 21 ½ |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 22 ¾ |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | SLEEVE LENGTH (cm) | |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 39.7 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 43.2 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 47 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 50.8 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 54.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 58 |
Every brilliant mug, tee, or coaster you order is made especially for you using print-on-demand. This custom process is personally overseen by our mascot, Sir Cucumber Dog, who ensures his cucumber monocle is positioned just right for the official 'Pug of Approval' stamp. Because we don't hold stock and craft everything bespoke, your order takes a little longer to arrive than rushed, mass-produced items. But this extra time guarantees a high-quality, perfectly rude, and funny product made just for you!
