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Rude Dog Fart Welcome Mat | Funny Pet Owner Gift | Indoor Entryway Mat -
Rude Dog Food Mat: "THE LEGEND. THE DICKHEAD." Funny Pet Bowl Mat Gift -
SERIOUS WARNING: DOG MAY HUMP YOU. Indoor Door Mat -
SHOES OFF! PEASANT! Sir Cucumber Dog Indoor Mat -
Sir Cucumber Dog "Guaranteed Entry If You're A Weirdo" Doormat -
Sir Cucumber Dog "I'd Agree With You" Funny Pug Coaster -
Sir Cucumber Dog "It’s a Dickhead" Rude Dog Doormat -
Sir Cucumber Dog "Lick The Spoon" Funny Novelty Coaster -
Sir Cucumber Dog "Looking Fit As Always" Rude Bath Mat -
Sir Cucumber Dog "Rock Paper Scissors" Challenge Doormat -
Sir Cucumber Dog "Sweeping The Floor With Your Nuts" Mug -
Sir Cucumber Dog "Welcome Home You Legend" Doormat -
Sir Cucumber Dog "Welcome Knobhead" Rude British Doormat -
Sir Cucumber Dog "WHAT?!" Novelty Indoor Mat -
Sir Cucumber Dog Coasters (Set of 4) | Rude Pug Gift | Funny Novelty Coaster Set -
Sir Cucumber Dog Enormous Infant Head Mum Ceramic Mug | Cucumber Dog -
Sir Cucumber Dog Official Logo Kids' Heavy Cotton Tee -
Sir Cucumber Dog: "I WOKE UP LOOKING BUFF. AGAIN!" Mug -
Sometimes I Lick The Spoon Mug | Funny Rude Gag Gift -
Still Smarter Than The Dog | Cheeky Baby Grow -
STUDENTS LIVE HERE! Funny Indoor Door Mat -
The "Kung Fu Fighting" Retro Pop Art Coaster -
The "My Name Is Mat." Funny Welcome Door Mat -
The "See Reverse" Prank Tee | Mind Games Collection
Frequently asked questions
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?
Sir Cucumber Dog is our distinguished Chairman—a plush pug with discerning taste, a bespoke cucumber-print suit, and a monocle made from the finest cucumber slice. He oversees all operations, ensuring every design we release meets our high standards for rude, funny, and unapologetic British wit. He is a busy pug; do not expect a personal reply.
What is the Cucumber Dog brand style?
We don’t do boring. We specialize in "hostile workplace" humour, cheeky slogans, and sarcastic visuals. Our aesthetic is rooted in vintage typography, high-end illustration, and our signature Cucumber Green (#2d4c31) and Cucumber Cream (#FAF5DC) palette. If it doesn't make you giggle or make your HR department sweat, we aren't printing it.
Where do you ship to?
We ship globally from our decentralized production network. Every order is fulfilled in the country of purchase (UK or USA) to ensure the fastest possible transit times and to minimize our carbon footprint.
Are these designs available anywhere else?
No. Every design is proprietary to the Cucumber Dog brand. You will not find Sir Cucumber Dog elsewhere. If you see our designs on another store, they are cheap knockoffs, and the Chairman is likely already preparing legal action.
I have a stupid question?
There are no stupid questions here, only people who haven’t had enough caffeine yet. If you are confused, it is likely because we were too busy being funny to be clear. Send your question over to our support team—they are much more patient than Sir Cucumber Dog and will be happy to clear things up for you without judging your lack of focus.
Contact Our Support Minions at woof@cucumberdog.com